Speaking to women on the role of a godly wife and mother, Ann says her real focus is simply being godly, which she frames as living “a testimony of grace.” She shares her story: married to Mark at nineteen, she faced eight dysfunctional years after he left God for sin, yet she held onto hope. His deep repentance ultimately strengthened their marriage, and those years gave her compassion for others.
She admits fresh trials, including a lawsuit and chronic pain, and draws on Paul’s thorn in 2 Corinthians 12 to argue that our “if onlys” are opportunities to display God’s strength. Such a testimony matters because we exist to glorify God, wield real influence, and should make Jesus attractive. She encourages women to love their roles, see the Proverbs 31 woman as attainable through fear of the Lord, and “just be sweet.”
She closes by urging honesty with God, obedience, and meekness as paths to peace.
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Transcription:
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(00:03) I remember back in 2002, I believe it was, we had first come to Charity from Idaho. Hadn’t been there very long, feeling really like country bumpkins in a really wellput together place. And there were meetings.
(00:27) Brother Denny was speaking and he was talking to the men and the ladies were going to sing, “Rise Up, O men of God.” And we gathered together in the basement to get lined up neatly. And I was shaking like a leaf. Never done any such thing. Sister Janice, I think you’re probably in here. Can I call you out? You stepped up in front of us and you said so kindly, sisters. Now, maybe you’re feeling a little nervous, but let me just encourage you. That’s pride. So, I haven’t overcome all my pride yet.
(00:59) In fact, I told Mark, I feel really unspiritual to come up here without a Bible, but I probably wouldn’t open it. So, I just said, “Well, I guess I’ll swallow my pride and just read my notes.” Anyway, I am really Is this in your way? kind of I am just really really ready to do this.
(01:32) I’ve probably overthought this hour for way too long and so I’m just going to dump out my heart and I’m going to need your grace. Um yeah, but I’m I’m excited to share what’s on my heart with you. The So I want to introduce my topic and then me a little bit. The the title says I’m going to talk about the role of a godly wife and mother. I hope there are not singles or widows or young girls that are taking a nap right now thinking that doesn’t apply to me because I’m not really going to talk much about being a wife or much about being a mother. I want to talk about the role of being godly.
(02:05) Obviously, that’s going to affect who we are as whoever we are. But I really want to just focus on the godly part today. Out of that is going to flow the goodness of who we are in a rule. Um, I was going to talk a little bit about right now about the whole ground of how important it is that we feel accepted in Jesus, but brother Donnie just did such an excellent job on that that I just want to amen it.
(02:36) We will not do well at even obviously being godly without being solidly convinced that Jesus loves me and I love him. And that’s where everything’s coming from. So, that’s really important. Um, I am going to share a bit of our testimony. Yeah, we’re here because we’re old.
(02:58) Like brother Donnie said, they they called out the old folks, but they also called out marriages this weekend that have been through really deep valleys. And Mark and I have a very deep, a very ugly, a very dysfunctional valley. And I will tell you a little more about that. And I want to share enough about that so that you get a hold of the power of what I’m saying. If I were to change this title, I would change it to a testimony of grace.
(03:26) And that’s what we are and that’s what I want to share. So I’m going to share just enough that you know how bad it was because I want you to realize the power of God to give us grace over anything. And in a group this size and even in stories I’ve heard already, there’s pain here. But his grace is sufficient. We want to talk about that. Um, life has troubles. We know that. We all know that we are kingdom of God Christians on enemy territory.
(03:52) He’s out to slay us. And so, we will have troubles. I chuckled the other day when I read the scripture. Take no thought for the tomorrow. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. And I thought, “Oh, dear Jesus.” What he said was, “Today has a lot of really bad stuff in it.
(04:13) Why you want to worry about tomorrow? He’s so sweet.” Anyway, so have you ever found yourself just wishing the trouble would go away? I’m not going to ask you to put up your hands, but if we were in the stadium of a cheerleader section, I’d hear yes, probably. or yeah, you wish somebody would quit being like they are so that what’s happening would go away. So, we all have our if onlys.
(04:38) Well, so as a foundation of my topic today, let me ask you, what if we never had any if onlys? What if life didn’t have troubles? What if you didn’t have the thing that’s driving you crazy right now, niggling at you and making you miserable? Life can be really, really hard sometimes. Life can be really, really sweet sometimes.
(05:06) But what if nothing was ever hard? Where would be your testimony of God’s grace in your life? That’s what I mean by a testimony of God’s grace. And I’m going, you’re going to hear me say that a lot today because I think it’s powerful, whatever our role is, that we have a testimony of God’s grace.
(05:26) That’s kind of where I’m going. So my role of godly is that out of our life is going to flow a testimony of the grace of God in our lives. So let me tell you a little bit about myself. Um again just to share a message of hope so that if you’re in kind of a broken mess I hope you go away from here with hope. So the registration says I’m an with an E. I’m not. I’m Ann without an E.
(05:54) I’m just plain A and no E. But that means something to me when I say that because I really felt like for many years of my life that I couldn’t do anything right. I was a sickly baby. I was told I was a fussy child. I was a stubborn toddler. I was a rebellious teenager. I didn’t always please my parents. And I just felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Just plain Ann.
(06:19) And I wrestled with that for all my more extroverted personality. I still inside just felt like I couldn’t do anything right. And I wrestled with that probably until I worked through my whole assurance of salvation. Finally drove my stake that Jesus loves me and I love him and I’m okay. Then I got married to Mark. I’m doing this teenage thing that’s not that pleasing to my parents.
(06:55) Mark and I grew up together. His parents and my parents were best friends. And when he was 3 months old, his parents came to visit my parents cuz they had this new baby girl and they laid us in the cradle together and that’s where we met. He likes to say, “Knock the bottle out of my mouth.” I’m sure my mother was nursing me, so I don’t think that’s true.
(07:16) But anyway, we did grow up together. So, three months after he knows 19, week after I was 19, we married and we celebrated our 50th a week ago yesterday. We praise God for that. It hasn’t all been pretty is the trouble. But anyway, we loved being married. Marriage was a little heaven on earth. We were raised so similar that we didn’t have a lot of major differences to work with.
(07:42) Our personalities, the way we process is our biggest difference and we still run up against that. But Mark was well respected in the church. We were in a brethren church. My daddy was an elder. His daddy was a deacon. All of our families were in the church. Everybody’s doing well. You know how that can start to look? Idol. Idol.
(08:01) Idol. And then after we’ve been married about 12 years, all my little idols came crashing down. Um, we were farming and loved it. Drought years, the farmers sold, we couldn’t afford it. That was crushing. Um, Mark went to teach at our church school with seven ladies. And the giant of jealousy is not a pretty thing, ladies. I struggled with that after that year.
(08:32) and and that began to weaken our relationship, I’m sure. After that year, he took a manager’s position in a cabinet shop. I was in the office a lot, secretaries, very unhealthy situation, and our life came crashing down. Mark walked away from God into sin, and then followed what we call our eight hard years. We all know what hard years were. They weren’t just hard. They were dysfunctional. Anybody looking on would have said it was a lost cause.
(09:07) Um, Rebecca was that started out with Rebecca at 12, Jenny at 10, Mickey at he’d have been six, Jeff at three and a half, and Rick a newborn. So, I had these five children. It rocked the brotherhood. What is what is more shameful than a wife that can’t even keep her husband faithful to her? And so all my old can’t do anything right came rushing back. And I needed something desperately. And what I needed was the grace of God to walk this out because I never lost hope.
(09:54) I never believed that he wouldn’t be back. And so we walked those eight years. What if that would have never happened? I’ve asked myself that different times. What if that would have never happened? Where would be my testimony of grace? Would we want to go through it again? Of course not. Would we wish it on anybody? All your things that you’re hurting. No.
(10:23) But I can say thank you now. Without that, how would I have compassion for other hurting people? How would we have sat with the multitudes of women, husbands, wives that we have and gave them hope? And so and and what’s more, this is the really fun part that can come out of a hard thing. And let me give you hope.
(10:45) Mark’s repentance was so incredibly 100% so deep, so ongoing. He still weeps over it. He He’s supposed to talk about this tomorrow morning and he hates to talk about it. He feels forgiven, but he still hates it. And and the children all know that. And that just keeps being healing. That’s such a blessing. So he says, “He owes me a debt he’ll never get paid.”
(11:14) Well, that’s pretty nice, don’t you think? That means he really loves me well. Well, then of course I’m going to one up him, right? And so you see what would our marriage be if it had not been without that valley. So a testimony of grace is a good thing. And I just want you to get a hold of that today that if you are in a really deep valley or if you’re on a mountaintop, we need to remember too God wants glory when things are going well. Also, we want to have a testimony of the grace of God.
(11:45) So, I’m all excited about sharing this and I’m making notes and I’m telling about this story that’s so far past that it really doesn’t even hardly ever make me emotional and I can talk about it and I just praise God. And then one day there’s this loud insistent knocking on the door just last week, couple weeks ago.
(12:07) And I went to the door and here stood a very official man saying, “I have some legal papers to deliver to Mark Brubaker.” Mark sold a business several years ago. We are being sued. Well, this is really exciting to have a testimony of grace, right? Another kind of whammy recently.
(12:35) We all know that relationships can be some of the hardest things and and and we’re facing a a challenge there. And so I’m supposed to go back to my notes and I’m supposed to be all excited about this testimony of grace we can have in our lives, right? Well, when it’s hurting pretty bad, it doesn’t feel quite so easy. So, I don’t want to talk today sounding like, oh, you guys ought to just get a hold of this and it’s just delightful to get to hurt and go through valleys because you’re going to have this glorious testimony of grace. That’s not the way it is.
(13:01) This has come pretty hard. The last week or so, we have felt an incredible battle in the spirit realm. I hope that means God’s going to do something. But my preparing kind of stalled. Maybe you understand what it’s like if you’re going through a hard thing, those mind battles. Like you can have conversations where you win every time, right? Um, yeah, Mark and I sometimes say, “You know what? We’ve talked that thing over so much, we’ve got a paved road around that bush and we’re sick of it.” Yeah.
(13:40) So, we face that when we face these valleys. Um, so they’re real. I just want you to understand, I know they’re real, but we need to remember, sisters, the heathen do well when things are going well, right? But the Christians do well when they’re not going so well. And that is our testimony of grace.
(14:03) That is the difference. Being a testimony of grace costs something. And I doubt that there’s anybody here who doesn’t understand that. We don’t get to feel sorry for ourselves. We don’t get to blame anybody. We don’t get to win all the arguments. We don’t get to even wish it would go away. We just embrace it. And then God comes.
(14:27) So I pushed on with this, not feeling quite so glib, but it’s real. And I really think that we can prosper. In the midst, I want to make a point of that. In the midst of the hard things, let me tell you, the more you go through, the easier it gets to get it in the midst. Maybe some of you gay-haired ladies would agree with that, or even younger ones.
(14:50) You just after a while you say, “Whoops. I recognize those thoughts. I’m not into paving more ground. Whoops. Nope. Can’t blame. Nope. Lord, what do you have in this for me?” We’ve done cancer. We’ve done COVID. We’ve done open heart surgery. Um, we’ve done a marriage valley or valley.
(15:17) There’s nothing that God doesn’t want to use so that we have a testimony of his grace. Here’s why it matters. Okay? It’s simply I have three things here. I’m sure there’s more, but it matters because we are here to glorify God. That’s absolutely why every one of us still have life today. We were created to glorify God. We were saved to glorify God. And we woke up this morning to glorify God today.
(15:42) So, dare we be feeling sorry for ourselves? Dare we be moping? Does he know better than I do how to get glory out of my life? Second, we have power. Why it matters that our lives have a testimony of grace coming out of them. We have power, ladies. I tremble sometimes at the power we have. I don’t know why we’re called the weaker vessel.
(16:08) And then we have all this influence on our husband or our children or our co-workers or our housemate or the mail lady or the shopping cart lady in front of me. We have influence. I think somebody already said this weekend, we’re influencing somebody all the time. So, it matters that we’re pleasant and joyful and patient and glad.
(16:34) Why does it matter? We need to make Jesus attractive. That one really matters. We were saved to make Jesus attractive. And everybody knows that a shiny face is way more attractive than a glum one. What’s the scripture say? A heavy spirit just dries up your bones. That’s not going to make Jesus attractive. So it matters whether happy or hard. It matters that a testimony of grace is flowing out of our lives.
(17:06) So, we all have if onlys, right? If only I could have another baby. If only I could have a little more space between babies. If only my husband was a believer or if a better communication or he worked harder, he made more money. If only I was good at housekeeping. If only I could sew like other people.
(17:31) If only this pain would go away. If only I were married. If only I could go on a mission field. If only I were the accepted one in the crowd. Or if only people weren’t so critical. Maybe I haven’t listed your if only, but we probably all have an if only in life.
(17:52) If only this would go away, I could be more godly, right? Well, I think what I’m trying to rob from us today is that fact. That is not true. We get casual pretty easily. We relax pretty easily. God wants to keep us close to himself. I’m going to guess if you ever found a shinyfaced white-haired lady and you heard her story, she had troubles. And she didn’t get that way just overnight. She walked her troubles with grace. Pain is my companion.
(18:23) I probably has been for 30 years. um chiropractors and every kind of therapist you can think of and massage therapists and stretches and laser treatment and I don’t you name it. It it it doesn’t help. My my whole body right now is just quaking with pain. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked God to take it away. The children prayed when they would little were little that God would take it away.
(18:47) I know miraculous healing. I had a miraculous healing when we were in India. So I know God can but he hasn’t chosen to do this. And so just recently as I was bringing this in front of God again, 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 just struck me. And I think that was kind of the impetus of what I’m sharing here today. Paul had an if only in his life, right? And he asked God three times. And I thought, “Sorry, Lord, I’ve asked you way more than three times.
(19:17) I don’t know what that says.” But Paul asked God to take it away and God said, “No.” And Paul asked again and God said no. And Paul asked again. And I think God might have said, “Paul, you don’t understand. You don’t need this thorn taken away. You need to know my grace.” He said, “You’re weak. I’m strong. My grace is enough for you, Paul. Be okay with it.
(19:47) ” And you know what Paul said? And this is what I my goal is to say, and I want your goal to say with every if only in your life. All right then, God. I’m going to glory in this thing, this tribulation, this distress, this pain, this whatever, what if. I’m going to glory in it because then the power of Christ is going to rest on me. And what do we covet more than that the power of Christ would rest on us, right? Your if only is your opportunity to show off God’s strength. Isn’t that exciting? We get to do that. We get to do that.
(20:18) So I said, “Okay, I’m going to seize every opportunity I can that the power of Christ would rest on me.” Now my have a row of people who know me really, really well sitting here and they know me and they know that recently we were working together and I in the middle of the kitchen said, “This hurts.” In a not very pretty voice.
(20:44) And I don’t know what I might have said then. Sorry if I’m quiet or whatever, but I had a choice to make. I could either show them the power of Christ in my life, a testimony of grace, or I could miss my opportunity. I’ve missed opportunities. Maybe you have, too. But we don’t want to. We don’t want to.
(21:10) Does a bad attitude ever help anybody? Really? Does it ever change the issue? It doesn’t. Let’s embrace what God wants to give us grace for. We want to glorify God. We want to be holy, right? Our role is to be holy. We’re called to be Jesus to people. You know, we just never know what little thing we might do. Brother Merle, this morning was it? I’ll be praying for you. Look how that thing came back around.
(21:42) Once upon a time when we lived out in Idaho, Idaho, a hurting young girl came up to us and I reached out and brushed her cheek and she doesn’t forget it. And today she’s part of our family. Years later, we don’t know what little thing we might do. Recently, Mark and I were on a video phone with a young lady who’s in prison.
(22:00) And she said, “Brother Mark and Sister Ann, do you remember when I was about 10 or 11, and you were trying to help me work through struggles, and you told me, keep a journal, and when you get together, we’ll talk about how you felt.” We didn’t remember that. Vaguely, it kind of came back to us. You might forget what little thing you do, but somebody else won’t.
(22:24) They might remember. It’s so important that our testimony of God’s grace is flowing through us all the time because we never know what really might touch somebody. Maybe you know the story of John Patton. He went to the Hebrides Islands. He went to a cannibal island soon after. I think they had just killed and eaten two cannibals. He lost his wife. He lost his baby.
(22:50) He went through incredible things. But this is his story. He said, “When I was a boy, I would see my daddy come out of his office and his face would just be glowing and I knew daddy had been with God.” And he said, “I remembered that. It carried me through.” The role of us sisters is to have such a glow of Jesus in our lives by His grace.
(23:12) Not because life’s easy, but by his grace that other people are encouraged, strengthened, changed, saved. Testimony of grace is powerful. So, we need to live carefully. Let’s talk a little bit about how to become godly. This is I’m just going to share some of my my things that I think have God has drugged me through keyholes to try to teach me some of these things.
(23:43) We say things like, “I just want to be like Jesus.” Sounds really good, but do we want to go through what it takes to be like Jesus? Remember what Jesus went through? Does giving your child everything they want make her lovely? We all know that God knows that about us, too. He did that for Israel one time, you know, and it brought leanness to their souls.
(24:12) And so, I’ve had to think sometimes if I’m feeling a little lean in my soul, I say, “God, I need a big trouble.” So, how do we learn to glorify God better? How do we become a testimony of his grace? Well, here’s one way that really has felt important to me, and that is I need to love to do what I’m doing. So my question to you is, do you love to be a woman? I mean, face it.
(24:36) You’re going to get away from that one. You may as well love it, right? Well, let me tell you what I think about being a woman. I think we are the crowning creation in God’s business of creating. He created and he created created and he said, “It’s good. It’s good. It’s good.” And then he made woman. And you know what he said? He said, “It’s very good.
(24:56) ” What if your family was putting together a 5,000piece puzzle over the winter and you get all done and the middle piece is missing? See, that’s who we are, ladies. We’re that middle piece. We finished it off. Beautiful. Do you love to be a woman? If you don’t, let me challenge you. Learn to love to be a woman.
(25:16) If you’re a wife, do you love to be a wife? Do you love to be a wife to your husband? You’re not going to get away from that one. You may as well love it. Learn to love it. Do you, if you’re a mother, do you love to be a mother to your children? Do you love the role you’re filling at your workplace or with your housemate or whatever your life is on your mission field? Do you love it? See, we need to love it because what we love, we do well.
(25:43) Right? If you love to arrange flowers, but you don’t like to sew, your bouques look better than your closet. Right? If you love to cook, but you don’t like to clean, people love to come to your house for dinner, but the back of your chairs might be kind of sticky, right? So, we we do well at what we love.
(26:00) If you like to clean, you don’t like to sew. You don’t have dust bunnies like I do under your bed, but your son’s knees may be peeking out their pants, right? So, we need to love what we’re doing to be able to do it well. And that has been really motivating to me. I love to be Mark’s wife. It’s it’s the most delightful thing. It’s what I do. I love to be the mother to our five children and Kimberly and our 20 almost 22 grandchildren and two great grandchildren. I love it.
(26:26) That’s a huge circle of influence I get. And my passion is that every one of them will stand beside Jesus and hear the same thing Mark and I want to hear. And that’s well done. That that’s exciting. And if a testimony of God’s grace somehow convinces them that it’s worth it to walk with Jesus, I’ll take the trouble.
(26:50) Right? So, another thing I think that’s motivating to us to help us to strive for this godliness and and that is we want to be women of purpose, right? Nobody really is that attractive if they’re sort of bored with what they’re doing or just tolerating it or gritting their teeth. We’re a woman. We have purpose. Let me take you to Proverbs 31.
(27:17) How many of you kind of feel like sagging down in your chair when I mention Proverbs 31, right? The superwoman that does everything way over the top and there’s no way I can measure up, so may as well forget it. I’m going to rob you of that today. I have seen something in Proverbs 31 recently that has really excited me and given me a lot of peace with this superwoman. She was not a superwoman.
(27:42) She was just like you and me. Let me ask you, when you think of the law, does it make you sag down in your seat? Like, well, what if I walk too far on the Sabbath? Or my son’s rebellious. What if he gets stoned or I can’t mix these two fabrics? Right? We don’t go there, right? We’re not under the same kind of picture as this Proverbs 31 woman, but this mother was talking to a son and he understood the culture and things of the day. In my mind, this Proverbs 31 woman is just a Titus 2 woman.
(28:21) Let me try to prove it to you. Um, skim down over the chapter. She doesn’t waste. Her husband trusts in her. I’ve got that one. You probably do, too, right? or it’s reachable. It’s not out of anybody’s reach. You can be careful with your husband’s money. That’s all she did. Um, she learned to do him good to encourage him. We do that, ladies. We got We got that one. Um, she sews clothes for the family. Got that one.
(28:48) Keeps the kitchen stocked with what it needs to feed her family and feed them well. We do that. She spends time with the Lord. I, this is obviously in my words, but you read it and think about it this way. She spends time with the Lord so that she can answer her children’s question and guide them. We all do that. Um, listen to this. She assigns tasks in a very orderly way to her maids.
(29:14) This Proverbs 31 superwoman had maids, right? It’s okay if you need help to can or to school or to pull weeds. Proverbs 31 woman has maybe more than one maid even. She’s diligent to be girded with spirituality. One of the verses says we do that. We pray. We read the word. We have Bible studies. We go to church on Sunday. We share our weaknesses with our sisters. We gird ourselves with spirituality.
(29:50) That’s reachable. Starting to feel like a Proverbs 31 woman. Um, she has a heart to care of her family and others. She plans ahead. We do too, right? We can. We freeze. We make winter clothes. We store up the little guy’s clothes for the next little guy that’s coming on. We put cookies in the freezer now and then.
(30:13) Yeah, we can do that. Here’s another one that she was careful about. It reads kind of interesting and I think it was in the amplified that helped me with this and where it talks about she spins and weaves and sews like um what is it silk and purple and what I realized that those are the colors of priests right that was the colors of the hangings in the temple and I realized that she is sewing very carefully because she’s a woman of God we has been. We go to the store and we check the bolts. But we need to do it carefully, sisters, because we are sons
(30:54) and priests of God. And God’s people look different than people who are not God’s people. And so that’s all she was doing here. She was just providing for her household what represented the fact that she’s a child of God and her family looks like it. That was that was sweet to me. So, you’re all familiar with Titus 2, right? And in 2 Corinthians, we know that our place is under man, and we know the havoc it creates if we’re not.
(31:25) But Titus 2, it says the same things. She’s chased. She’s diligent. She loves her husband. She loves her children. She’s a keeper at home. What’s the difference in a Proverbs 31 woman and a Titus 2 woman? It’s who we’re called to be. It’s who we will be. But here’s the bottom line. This is our testimony of grace.
(31:53) When this mother was talking to her son, when she got to the bottom, she said things like, “Many daughters have done well, but she excelth them all.” Now, this young man she was talking to would have been really familiar with um Esther who was willing to give up her life for her people. Uh Hannah, the perfect mother. Um who else? Deborah, who stepped up when the men weren’t, you know, but she excelth them all.
(32:24) Why? Because a woman that fearth the Lord, she shall be praised. So, we’re back around to the role of being godly. A Proverbs 31 woman fears the Lord. A Titus 2 woman fears the Lord. Her fear of the Lord, her love for Jesus, I will put it in New Testament terms, is what motivated her to cook and clean and can and freeze and encourage her husband.
(32:52) We can do that. We really can do that. Um, I think no, maybe not. So, anyway, hopefully the next time you hear of a Proverbs 31 woman, you’re not going to slump down in your seat terribly far and you can say, “I can I can do that. It’s a reasonable calling. It’s who I want to be.
(33:21) ” Again, do those closest to you see Jesus in you, especially in the midst of a trouble? Is there grace as you sit here and think about this? Do you think there’s grace for you to walk out this thing that is really hurting or has hurt in the past or you wonder what might happen in the future? Is there grace to do it with joy and be a testimony of who Jesus is? That was number two, woman of purpose.
(33:55) Number three, this isn’t biblical, but this is a phrase that has been very motivating to me and I love it. Um, do I have enough grace to not be grumpy? Just be sweet. I love those three words. Just be sweet. And some of you are sitting here, I think, that I’m going to mention, but we had some meetings for youth some time back and a group of young ladies came up to me afterwards and said, “Sister Anne, what would you encourage us to be doing right now? We don’t know what our future’s going to be, but what can we do to prepare for whatever?” I knew what I thought. Learn this. Just be sweet.
(34:37) Be sweet when life is flowing. Be sweet when troubles roll. Be sweet when all around you is just tearing at your soul. Be sweet when others are not. Be sweet when life’s unfair. Be sweet when seems there’s nothing but tension in the air. Just be sweet. Be sweet and learn it early.
(35:02) Much harder it will be to learn to model sweetness if your habits harsher be. Be sweet for reaping sweetness with a smile from Jesus’ face will make your life a picture of the father’s perfect grace. So sisters, write it on your blackboard or on your mirror or carry it in your pocket for a while. Just be sweet. Let that influence you. We get good at what we practice, right? Practice sweetness.
(35:25) Thanks the cleaning ladies at the airport and the rest areas. I love to watch their faces light up. They don’t get a lot of appreciation. Say thank you, sir, to the gentleman that holds the door open for you. Compliment the lady’s stocking shelves and tell her how much you appreciate a job neatly done. Um, leave things better than you found them.
(35:46) I love to tidy things in the stores as you go. Be sweet. Appreciate your child’s effort to fold the washcloths and please don’t refold them. Just be sweet. Thank your husband for his paycheck. Squeeze his muscle on his arm. Wink at him across the room. If he’s telling a story, don’t correct him. Just be sweet. Give your children clear direction.
(36:10) It’s not sweet to give them direction that you’re not intending to follow through with. It’s a confusion. Just be sweet. Our actions speak a lot louder than our words. So, I don’t know what really hard situation you may be in the middle of today. I remember um what it was like to not hardly have the strength to get out of bed. No desire to except there were five little people waiting on me.
(36:40) And I can remember standing in front of the mirror and saying, “Lord, I’m going to comb my hair for you today. I’m going to dress for you today. And I need a lot of your grace.” These children, little as they are, knew life wasn’t right. Daddy was not there much of that time in and out when he was. It was tense.
(37:01) Um, I need a lot of grace and I need them to see Jesus in me. At the end of the day, I’d say, “Well, Lord, how did I do?” Tomorrow’s another one. I’m going to need you again. A testimony of grace. And sisters, I thank God for the power of the Holy Spirit in those days to really do that. I don’t know.
(37:25) We don’t talk about those hard years with our children much at all. Um they’re passed, they’re forgiven, they’re forgotten. I don’t really know honestly what the older ones remember very much. And they might say, “Mama was grumpy. I tried.” I just want you to go away from here challenged to be godly. whatever your situation is.
(37:55) So, we practice sweetness. Again, just some of my own experience. What time is it? Two. What? When am I supposed to be done? Three. Okay. Um, just some of my own experience how to handle or things to do that helps. Face your pain. I say face your pain. Don’t stuff it.
(38:25) Don’t try to be so godly that nobody knows or you you got to cover this up. Face your pain. Be real. Complain to God about it. I think David’s our perfect example. You read some of the Psalms and David’s lament was pretty harsh sometimes. He was pretty honest with God. But you notice at the end of every one of his whiny times to God, he ended up praising him.
(38:48) So this complaint was coming from a foundation of knowing his God, knowing he was good, knowing I’m okay with this thing, but I don’t like it, God, and you know it, but I’m going to praise you because you’re God and I’m not. So it’s okay. Maybe another step with dealing with this hard thing is think about repurposing it for others.
(39:11) either God’s really trying to do a sanctifying work in my heart, which is really sweet of him, or somehow this thing can work together for others. Um, yeah, these two whamies hit us right around our 50th anniversary celebrated time and I’m trying to prepare for this and it’s like I wanted to say why, God. But the reality is the why is because so I would feel it with you. Not glibly up here tell you how wonderful it can be.
(39:36) It’s real. Pain is real. But think about, okay, I’m going through this and God has a really good purpose and it’s either for me or somebody else. He’s in control. I had a lesson to learn this one. God was really merciful with me. Life brought some circumstances that were disappointing just in real life. things and also a concern and I didn’t handle it well.
(40:13) I cried a lot of tears. I had a lot of sleep. It’s nice. I paved a lot of paths around a lot of bushes and I couldn’t seem to get my joy back. Joy has been really important to me by the way. I pursue joy. But I couldn’t get my joy back. And I fought and I battled and I struggled and I failed. I didn’t have anything to give anybody over that time.
(40:33) We went to Oregon. Mark has oversight over a church out there and I always give a sisters meeting and I sat and cried. I said, “I’m sorry, sisters. I have absolutely nothing to give you.” And so we prayed and it was sweet.
(40:49) But till we went back three months later, I had a testimony of grace cuz here’s what happened. One night he went out to the couch just like so many times before. And I don’t know why God does this. You press in, you press in, you press in, and then all of a sudden he comes through. I don’t know why that is, but I’m saying, God, why won’t you help me? Why won’t you give me peace? Where’s my joy? And he said in be anxious for nothing but with prayer, specific requests, thanksgiving, make your requests made known to me, and the peace of God that passes all understanding will keep your heart and your mind. And I realized I was doing a lot of being anxious.
(41:32) I was not being thankful. Well, I’m saying, God, why won’t you hold up your side? But he couldn’t. I wasn’t being obedient. And I saw it as sin. I saw it as sin against God. And I repented. And then he brought another one. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not to your own understanding.
(41:53) In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. And I saw my sin. I wasn’t trusting him in everything. I wasn’t acknowledging him. I was wondering how maybe we could fix this thing or and I repented of my sin and a little bit more of my hard heart chipped away. Cast all your cares on me. He said, “I care for you.” And I said, “Lord, I’m sorry.
(42:15) I’m supposed to cast a new care I’ve been carrying.” And I repented. And it kept coming like that until finally I was spent, but I had the peace of God in my heart. That has been a really sweet learning lesson for me. Have I never been tempted to go that route? I have. But it’s not worth it, sisters. If we keep up our end, God will keep his promises. And he promises peace and he promises joy and he promises victory and all those overcoming things.
(42:48) And so it went. I was recently having one of my gabfests with God in the night. And um just reaching for a scripture to just speak to my heart that I could offer to God. and and he said, “Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Learn of me.” And and we we we stop there often. We talk about getting in this yoke with God and what a joy that is.
(43:14) And he’s pulling and we’re just trottting along beside. But that’s not what stood out to me that night. He said, “I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Meekness and loneliness have something to do with rest for our souls. Get a hold of that, sisters. When I’m meek and lowly, I recognize my need for him.
(43:43) We’re back around to okay then, God, I’ll glory in this thing for your power. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are his masterpiece. Um, I’m going to put this into my words. I see I should have brought my Bible. Um something like I’m his masterpiece created a new in Christ Jesus so that the things he had planned for me long ago become my way of life.
(44:09) That’s AEB version. But, but think of that you’re his masterpiece. You’re new in him if you’re born again. He made you new because he has plans for you. planned them a long time ago and he wants us to walk in them. You know what that looks like? It’s a testimony of his grace. We’re not God. He is. We’re thankful for that.
(44:39) So, can you say to God, “Thank you for the hard. Thank you for the happy. And I just want people to see Jesus in me. Go home, sisters, excited about that hard thing if you can, knowing that in it there’s a lot of good purpose. You get to feel his power. You get to show people who Jesus is. Someday, Amen. We’re going to hear, “Well done. Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter in.”
(45:13) On my blackboard right now, it says, Kimberly shared this with me the other day. 100 years from now, I’m going to be with Jesus. A thousand years from now, I’m going to be with Jesus. 10,000 years from now, I’m still going to be with Jesus. And then I go, “Today’s trouble.” Lord, just let me be a testimony of your grace. God bless you, sisters.